Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Tag the Toy

I know I’ve touched base on referring to toys in a review. And I mentioned that feather lined hand cuffs could be considered toys. Didn't see it? Click:   Furry Cuffs

I’ve also mentioned that I like a good conversation, even a difference of opinion. No one really responded to the particulars of that post. Someone got a smile out of it, but no one dove in to debate any of my opinions. Quite by happenstance, a question and discussion floated my way that made me rethink my stance. Or more pointedly, refine it.

What is considered a toy? What makes the difference? Could something, instead, be considered a tool? If a tool, when?

I don’t endorse any toys – to do that I would have to have some experience with them and this blog is no place for such discussions, pro or con. However, in researching what could be considered toys, I saw mention of massaging devices, all made of some form of plastic or glass. There are toys that have nothing to do with the alternate lifestyle – they’re for enhancing the pleasure. What these all seem to have in common is the focus of increasing the pleasure of the coupling. They are toys. Freely used on either protagonist in the story without any other purpose than increasing the power of release.

Then there are the tools of the trade for alternate lifestyles that have a purpose that is more than just simple pleasure. These tools are inherent to the lifestyle – in effect – making them fall under the umbrella of those alternate lifestyles. What do I mean?

You can have and use toys on a whim, but you can’t practice an alternate lifestyle without its tools. So the gags, the electro shock kit, the ropes, the blind folds, restraints as well as whips, are tools, not toys.

I can only speak to the reviewers of Whipped Cream/LASR – I now believe that when we code our reviews with the unique qualities of a story, any device used inherent to an alternate lifestyle scene does not have to have the additional label of ‘toys’. It’s implied and expected. 

In doing this post, I’ve refined my ability to tag my review a bit clearer and with more accuracy. Although, in truth, if I read a book where the Dom actually used a Hannibal Head cage, I’d find a way to mention it in the body of the review. Readers should get a warning for something that could be considered hardcore especially for those who only read lightly naughty themes.  I know I wouldn't want to be surprised by some of the things I saw during my research. 


7 comments:

Wendi Zwaduk and Megan Slayer said...

Well put! Here here! :-)

Terra said...

I think you brought up a lot of good points that never cross my mind as a reviewer and never thought there was a difference between toys and tools. This is something that I am going to have to take note of in writing my reviews.

Stormy said...

Xer, thanks for taking one for the team and researching this :D I know for a fact I've used toys with the BDSM label. Would you still include toys in the "other" section if the couple or triad or quadrapeds (just teasing) or whatever engage in using the same instruments where there isn't any BDSM element in the same book? That might be an unusual situation because it would call for the D to not be a D and the s to be less of an s I guess.

Xeranthemum said...

Thank you, Wendi!!!

Xeranthemum said...

Thank you, Terra.
I'm glad I am not the only one that's happened to.
And I'm glad my writing this post has given you something helpful.

It was a bit disconcerting to find out I was clueless. LOL
Thanks for commenting!!!

Xeranthemum said...

LOL, Stormy!
Yeah, it was a hard job. ;-)

OOh, you are being sooo bad.

Let's explore this:

Well, if there was an octo-orgy and some did the BDSM thing and others didn't, and the ones who didn't used the items as toys for pleasure only. What could that look like?

Um...I guess those vibrating nipple cups. If he/she uses them on a guy or gal to get them all hot and bothered and panting just to rev them up to have wild monkey sex as a result - then it's toys.

If one of the other couples is into dominating - they might use the on/off switch in a controlled manner to get a desired result, manipulating the person to where they want/demand them to be. In that way, the same device becomes a tool - because of the focused, concentrated and deliberate manipulation.

So for a couple from the Octo-orgy, it will be a Fetish, and for others, toys.

And since there are a lot more
M/F/M/M/M/M/M/M/M out there - the possibility you decribed isn't that far fetched.

I need a glass of water.

Toni said...

OH MY!!! I think my head is about to explode!!

To use a dildo or not to use a dildo that is the question?

Oh I can see the problem here. Now the problem also is, where is the line drawn in the review of a book. A book can have BDSM and use their tools, but those same tools will be toys when there is no BDSM is involved.

Do we list both tools and toys?

Then at what point does it become true BDSM? Just because someone gets blindfolded and spanked, it doesn't mean it is BDSM.

What a hot topic you got going!!