Fear: The Roadblock of Life

There are many types of fear that plague humans throughout their lifespan.
It comes in so many forms and at times when we least expect it.

What is fear? Merriam-Webster has a cut and dried answer.
To be afraid of (something or someone)
To expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)
To be afraid and worried

Whether it's because the lights flared then snapped off and you find yourself alone in a big, dark office building, or you're jogging through the woods and something is keeping pace with you. How do you know that? The detritus and debris of the forest is rustling in time with your footsteps. Or, you had a nightmare that you were back in school wearing your P.J.'s and are woefully unprepared to take a test that if you fail all your classmates would turn into zombies. We've all had exposure to fear.

The most human of fears comes from our own minds and it stymies us, stops us and dissuades us from trying new things - the fear of the unknown. The feeling of inadequacy and the fear of failure.

Fear is powerful and yet, fear is only as powerful as you let it be. If you feed it.

Now, you're probably wondering where I'm going with this. We all know about some great minds who have explored this topic with much success: Alfred Hitchcock, Stephen King, Bram Stoker - the list is quite long. However, I'm talking about regular people like me and readers of this blog.

Reviewers. Potential reviewers. Want-to-be reviewers.

I wrote about my first review here, My First Review.
Then I explained HOW I became a reviewer here: The Road of Being a Reviewer.

When I was first approached, all I felt was fear. "I can't write a review.", "I don't know what to say.", "I'm not a professional writer", "I'm not good with words.", or, "I wouldn't know where to start."

Only some of those reasons for fear have elements of validity - "I don't know what to say" or "I don't know where to start".

Writing anything, from a school essay, to a cover letter for a job, or a review, all require exercising a mental muscle. It's the one we use for writing Thank You cards, writing notes to teachers, or writing to a best friend far away, whether by snail mail or email. The point being, you CAN write.

Why are readers afraid to take the next step and become a writer of reviews? To share their opinions with other fans of the same author or series or genre?

Some take the urge to share to their own blogs. In that way, they can't be told by anyone that they are doing it 'wrong', they write the way they want to and express how they feel. If they want to be profane, use a ton of current vernacular and explore the dark side of snark, they can. It's their blog, they can do and say whatever they want. And, they're right.

However, in doing so, and I'm focusing on those readers who WANT to review but balk at joining an official review site, they are not facing their fears. They are still hiding. They are not being challenged to be what they could be. Oftentimes they become defensive when they DO try to join because they figure, "I've written reviews for Amazon, Goodreads and my blog. I know how to write a review so don't tell me what to do." And they quit.

Fear.

That's what it is. Fear of rejection, of not being good enough. And while that underlying anxiety continues to lurk in a potential reviewer's mind, they will oftentimes react with anger or defensiveness and may even be close-minded to guidance, suggestions or tips.

In a way, it's sad. True, not all react negatively, but I'm focusing on the ones that do. They're holding themselves back.

Understand this. Most, if not all, review sites are started by avid readers and fans of the written word. They love their romance or mystery or young adult books and want to share that love, passion and joy with the world. If they're lucky, they have business savvy on top of it and can set up a site that develops a solid reputation that is recognized by publishers and authors alike.

That brings me to the benefits of joining such a site. Books. Lots and lots of books. Free books. The price is reading a book that will provide you an hour of two of joy, then maybe another hour's worth of time to write about the things that affected you, both good, awesome or bad. Another benefit of writing for an established review site is the thrill. There are two kinds of thrills that come with reviewing for a professional site: contact from the author in response to what you have written, and seeing your words, YOUR WORDS quoted in or on a book cover.

I've recently had my words quoted ON a book cover. And I mean, where usually other famous author's quotes go, there were MY words. On. The. Cover. Knock me over with a feather! Yes, it was credited to the review site, Long and Short Reviews, but they were my words from my review. It was a major SQUEEE! moment.

Reviews written on a personal blog won't get that kind of exposure and fame.

Another benefit to reviewing for an organized review site are comments from readers of your reviews. True, you can get that on your personal blog. But the reach of a professional review site is exponentially larger. Who doesn't like feedback? Who doesn't like to get compliments?

As far as learning how to write a review? Most good sites offer classes, tips, and assure novice reviewers that no question is considered silly and in fact they encourage questions. If the site has a good rapport amongst its reviewer base, they will usually be very happy, willing and enthusiastic helpers to the newbies. Plus, I humbly present this blog. I started it because there was no place for me to go to learn about writing reviews. There was no place that addressed the kinds of questions a reviewer might have and no place to go to ask questions. That is why the Chrysanthemum Connection was born. To help, to demystify writing a review and to give people the chance to spread their writing wings and fly.

What about if you are a bad speller? Is that stopping you? It shouldn't. First, as I'm sure you are aware of, there are Spell Check programs out there. Second, many quality review sites have editors. It's what they do, polish reviews. And the more you write, the more you become aware of how to correct yourself eventually having less need to be edited. Why do you think the old adage Practice Makes Perfect has been used for decades? It's wisdom. It's true. The more you exercise your writing muscle, the easier it gets. It's not your lack of writing skill that is stopping you, it's fear.

Seriously think about kicking fear to the curb.

Become a reviewer. Be open to tips, guidance and trying new things. Enjoy the thrill of picking out ANY book you want, for free, reading it and shouting out your opinions to the world. Someone somewhere will agree with you. Someone is going to love that book like you do.

Which brings me to another thrill moment - someone will buy the book based upon what YOU wrote. Your enthusiasm can make a difference to a reader - instead of passing on the book, they become intrigued enough to try it out for themselves. That is the power of the written word. And each and every person who is reading this post has the power to do that.

If you love books. If you have the urge to shout to the roof tops about a book that wowed you and you don't have anyone to share that excitement with - become a reviewer. Share what you felt with all of us. That's really all reviewing is. Sharing using words.

If your excuse is "All I can say is I liked it." You are selling yourself short. That statement is only the beginning. It's the reason why you want to write a review.

Do you know what you do next? You interview yourself.
Why did you like it? Was it the characters that were special? Was it the plot? What touched you that gave you the feeling that you couldn't put the book down? Was the villain really nasty? Did you hate him or her as much as the author intended you to? Did you get affected by the love scenes? Were they that good or were they sweet and tender?

When you start interviewing yourself, you are writing the review. Think about what YOU want to know about a book that gets you to read it or buy it. You know what you like, what you expect. That is what you share. That is what you write.

You can be a reviewer. I have every confidence in you. Forget what Nora Roberts would say. I want to know what YOU say!

My Very First Review

I decided to look back at my very first review; the one I wrote that prompted the invitation to become a reviewer.

Oh dear. I guess I have learned a few things since then. Can you spot the big boo-boo?

*** My First Review***

I had the honor of reviewing Now That We've Found You by Marianne Arkins

Blurb: For three years, the memory of Sarah Kirkman's dead husband has kept other men at bay. Her heart only has room for her six-year-old daughter, Melinda. On a vacation to the Smithsonian, the Kirkmans run into Doctor Duncan MacPherson, a paleontologist who befriends her dinosaur-obsessed daughter. Sarah's attraction to Duncan is undeniable but pointless-- he must leave for his home in Scotland the very next morning. But Sarah has forgotten one important thing: Christmas really is for miracles.

*****

My very first impression of Now That We've Found You came from the cover art. I started smiling immediately, and my mood lifted with positive anticipation. Sometimes the message from a cover is a good indication of what you are about to experience, sometimes not. I'm thrilled to say that this particular cover delivers the right message to the reader.

In this story there is a delightful child, Melinda, who exhibits the single-minded enthusiasm that six year-olds possess when they latch onto something that excites them; in this case, paleontology. Marianne captures that focus perfectly. I could "see" Melinda's personality, especially when she voiced her understanding of herbivores. That had me cracking a smile.

Melinda's acceptance of Dr. MacPherson flowed naturally and believably. The angst of guilt that the heroine, Sarah, deals with because of her attraction to the handsome Scottish doctor is not burdensome to the story. The conflict is delivered in just the right amount for the reader to understand Sarah as a person. Her dilemmas and choices could be our own. I liked the fact that at all times, Marianne remembers that Sarah is foremost a mother and handles her first kiss with Duncan with that in mind. The restrained passion resonated in that scene. It was quite hot!

The hero, Duncan MacPherson, is a yummy Scottish paleontologist guest speaking at the museum. I enjoyed the fact that he was written as a very male, caring man with a healthy dose of humor and yet acted like a ... quiet alpha. He knew he wanted Sarah, pursued her with classy and determined maneuvers and didn't fight making a commitment or admitting what he felt, as some alphas are wont to do.

The characters were a delight to watch as they fell in love. At no point did I feel this romance needed to be fleshed out more. Marianne tugged and stroked all the major emotional heartstrings that make this a must read for all romance readers who want an HEA that makes them feel good all over. Once you've read the sigh-inducing ending you'll realize Now That We've Found You delivers romance! I can attest to that.

*****

Okay then. What did I do wrong in my first review? I did it more than once too. Ready?

I used the author's FIRST name! I used familiarity! Remember my earlier post, That Familiar Touch? Well, this is the perfect example. Bad, bad Xeranthemum. At least I didn't use synopsis, at least from the get go I talked about how the book affected me, so that was good. Perhaps that is why I was invited?

The other thing I've since learned is: Don't mention the cover art. Why? Because sometimes Ebook sites use the same exact cover over and over to denote a type of series or shorts or something they have in common. Many times the book covers have nothing on them in relation to what's in the actual book. Book says "hero's full mustache tickled her breast" and the book cover has a man totally denuded of body hair glistening with so much baby oil, I need sunglasses to cut the glare. I don't mention book covers any more.

I like to think that my reviews have become a bit more polished over the years but by no means are they perfect. I'm sure there is plenty of room for improvement and I hope doing this blog, and eventually having visiters, will help as we trade ideas, thoughts and formulas.

Have you looked at your own first review lately? How does it compare to how you do it now? I'd love to hear from you. ;-)